


Sweet is the Voice of a Sister in the Season of Sorrow

by NerdsbianHokie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Homophobia, References to Abuse, Transphobia, trans Jamie Sawyer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 22:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11976471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: Maggie hasn't seen her father since she was fourteen years old and her world was shattering.  Now, he's at her station and she's faced with the realization that her parent's lives continued after her.Continued onto another child.





	Sweet is the Voice of a Sister in the Season of Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is basically a 'what the show could do' thing based on a few things that have come out about s3: that Flo is no longer a regular, and Maggie will most likely be leaving at some point; that Maggie's father makes an appearance; that there was a post somewhere with a young actress on set that called her Sawyer.
> 
> I've kinda come into the hc that Jamie is a trans girl due to another fic I'm slowly working on where she's a trans girl, and it has kinda become my canon for her. In this story, for most of it she is called 'Trip' and is referred to as a boy. This is because the story's perspective is 3rd person limited from Maggie's pov. She doesn't know Jamie is trans until Jamie tells her, but the switch to Jamie and the proper pronouns happens as soon as Jamie tells her, with the exception of when in dialogue by and around people who don't know. Trip is a nickname.
> 
> Title is from _The Wondrous Tale of Alroy_ by Benjamin Disraeli

The hallway Maggie was down was deserted and dark, the lights on switch instead of motion detectors.  Her heart raced, pounding in her ears and vibrating through her veins.  She paced back and forth, from wall to wall, staring down at her hands as she rubbed them together, squeezed them, cracked her knuckles, anything to try and get them to stop buzzing.

If she could get them to stop, she might be able to fight off the panic attack before it fully sets in.

\- futile, she knew, but she had to try -

He was in the building.

She didn’t know how or why - the Captains explanation had been drowned out by the buzzing in her brain - but he was there.

She hadn’t been in the same room as him since she was fourteen, hadn’t even been in the same time zone since she was twenty-five and had to drive across the country from Gotham to National City.

But he was there.  Her captain had led him into the bullpen, introduced him, and she had fled, escaping through another door until she ended up in a little used part of the building.

And, god, what if he had seen her.  And, god, she’s not fourteen anymore.

\- she’s fourteen -

“Excuse me?”

She jumped at the voice.  Her hand twitched towards her hip.

The boy she spun to face took a step back.

For a moment they just stared at each other, then Maggie took a deep breath.

“Can I help you?”

The boy eyed her for a moment, eyes flicking down to the badge on her hip before he nodded.

“I was looking for the bathroom but I think I made a wrong turn.”

Maggie nodded, pushing some of her hair back.  “Okay.  I can take you if you want, then take you back to where you were.”

The boy’s shoulders slumped in relief.  He ran a hand through his own hair, then pushed his glasses up his nose.  “Thank you.  My dad’ll get so pissed if he finds out I got lost.”

“Where is your dad?” Maggie asked as she started to lead the boy down the hall.

This was good.  She could focus on helping this boy, and not on how her chest was caving in rib by rib.

The boy shrugged, turning his phone over and over in his hands.  “Some work thing.”

Maggie hummed, rounding a corner.

“What’s your name?”

“Trip.”

“Trip, I’m Maggie.”

“Are you a cop?”

“A detective.”

“That’s cool.”

“I think so.”

“My dad’s a cop.”

“Really?”  Maggie’s stomach turned.  She glanced at the boy.

He couldn’t be.  There was no way.

The boy nodded.  “Most of my family’s been cops.  My dad, my grandpa, my aunt and uncle.”

“That’s a lot of cops.”  She turned another corner.

“Yeah, my dad wants me to be a cop, too.”

Maggie’s chest grew heavier.

“Do you want to?”

The boy sighed.  Maggie chuckled.

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”  He kicked at the floor.  “Coach thinks I might be able to get a baseball scholarship, and I guess science and history are my favorite subjects.”

“I don’t know much about history, but I work in the Science Division, and my girlfriend is a scientist.”  She kept her eyes forward, ignoring the urge to look at Trip, even as she noticed the boy watching her out of the corner of his eye.  “What’s your favorite science?”

“Umm, geology?  I kinda like how you can learn the history of the Earth with it, y’know?  Like, a combination of the two.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

She stopped as they reached the bathroom

“I can wait for you, or just tell you how to get back to-”

A hand gripped her arm and jerked her back.

Trip cried out.  Maggie reached for her hip, out of the corner of her eye she noticed the officers in the area doing the same.

Maggie’s throat closed as she found herself staring up at her father.

And she was three and dancing on his feet in the kitchen.

And she was six and holding up her first homework assignment with a check plus.

And she was eight and didn’t understand why he was yelling, why he smelled weird.

And she was twelve and pushing between him and her mother.

\- she’s fourteen -

“You stay away from him,” he growled.

“I was just showing him where the bathroom was,” she forced out, trying to keep the fear out of her voice.

“I know what your kind do with kids in bathrooms.”

Maggie jerked back, ripping her arm out of his grip.

“She was helping me, Dad,” Trip cut in.

“Stay out of this,” he said.

“But…”

“Does he even know about me?” Maggie cut her off.

“What’s there to know?”

Maggie laughed, dark and sardonic.  “So you just act like fourteen years of your life didn’t happen?  Like you didn’t have a daughter?”

His jaw twitched.  Maggie locked her knees for a moment to keep herself from running.  He couldn’t touch her here, not without the rest of the force reacting.

“Dad?” Trip asked from behind him.

Maggie looked at him.  “I’m sorry, Trip,” she said.  “If you ever need anyone, for anything, look me up.  Detective Maggie Sawyer, okay?”

Trip nodded absently, eyes wide as he looked from his father to the woman claiming to be his sister and back again.

“You won’t go anywhere near him,” her father said, stepping towards Maggie.

Maggie clenched her fist, pressed it against her leg to stop it from shaking.

“If I find out-” her voice was trembling, and she couldn’t stop it “-that you’ve hurt him the way you did me, that wont be your choice to make.”

His eyes flashed.  He took a step forward.

Maggie stepped back, then spun and stalked off, ignoring the looks the other officers were giving her.  She made her way back to the deserted hallway she had been pacing and slipped into an interrogation observation room.  She slumped back against the door.

Her entire body was shaking.  Her ears roared

She fumbled for her phone, having to pause a few times before she was able to call make her call.

_ “Hey, babe,” _ Alex said.

Maggie latched onto her voice as she struggled to keep her breathing even.

_ “Maggie?  You there?” _

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

_ “Are you safe?  Where are you, I’m just in the lab so I can be there as soon as possible.” _

“Just talk, please.”

_ “Okay.  Well, I’ve been in the lab all day.  There was this attack last night…” _

Maggie slid to the floor, back still pressed to the door, as she listened to Alex, as she let Alex’s voice wash over her.  She slowly pressed the thumb on her hand not holding her phone to each finger tip, counting each set of four.

\- one, two, three, one -

\- one, two, three, two -

\- one, two, three, three -

The roaring in her head quieted beneath Alex’s rambles.  The shaking of her hands slowed, lost intensity as she focused on the movements.

After some time, Alex trailed off.

_ “How’re you feeling?” _

Maggie sucked in a breath.  “He’s here.”

There was the scraping of a stool across the floor, and Maggie figured Alex must have jumped up.

_ “Who’s there?  Where are you?” _

“My father.”  A sob forced it’s way out.  “At the…the station.”

Alex took a deep breath.  _  “I’ll be right there.  Just breath.  Okay, babe?  All you have to do is breath.  I’m going to take my bike, so I wont be able to stay on the line, but I’ll be there as soon as possible, okay?” _

“Yeah.”

_ “Just remember, he can’t hurt you anymore, okay?  You have the power now, and a girlfriend who will absolutely destroy him if he touches you.” _

Maggie let out a wet chuckle.

_ “There you go,”  _ Alex said.  _  “I’m at my bike now, so I’ve got to get off.  Can you put on music to keep your mind focused?” _

Maggie took a deep breath.  “Yeah.”

_ “Okay. I’ll call you when I get there so you can tell me exactly where you are.” _

“Okay.  Hurry?”

_ “Always.  I love you.” _

“Love you.”

The call disconnected.  Maggie held her phone to her ear for a few more moments then lowered it to her lap.  She stared at the picture of Alex on the background before quickly navigating to her music.  She turned on the playlist she used when she couldn’t sleep, tones soft enough to not overwhelm her, but with lyrics that kept her thoughts from straying.

She sat there through a few songs, head back against the door, fingers still pressing together.

\- one, two, three, eighty-five -

\- one, two, three, eighty-six -

A knock on the door behind her made her jump.

“Sawyer?”

Her captain.

“I know you’re in there, and you know we are going to have to talk.”

Maggie sighed.  She had been trying to not think about that.  She paused the music as she stood, then opened the door, her fingers still pressing together.

Captain Scallan’s face was soft, the way it was when he spoke with victims.

Maggie’s stomach clenched, her throat tightened.

\- not a victim -

She turned from him to cross the room and lean against the wall facing the interrogation room.  She crossed her arms.

Scallan closed the door and leaned against the opposite wall.  He wasn’t directly across from her, but to the side.

“That was your father?”

She nodded, staring at the window between the rooms.

“You said he used to hurt you.”

Her jaw tightened.  Her grip around her arm, around her phone tightened.  Phantom pain pulsed through her wrist.

She nodded.

There were a few moments of silence.

“What happened when you were fourteen?”

She pulled in a sharp breath.

She couldn’t.  She couldn’t.

She tightened her grip on her phone.  She needed Alex to show up.

“Okay,” Scallan said.  “We’ll talk later.  We can’t take your father into custody, but he’s in my office until we figure it out.  The boy is in the bullpen with CPS.”

Her phone buzzed.  She shifted it enough to see Alex smiling at her.

“My fiancée,” she said.

“Take it,” he replied.  “Go calm down, but you will have to tell us something, and soon.”

She nodded, quickly leaving the room as she answered her phone.

“You’re here?”

_ “I’m here,” _ Alex replied.  _  “Just pulled into a spot.” _

“I’ll meet you at the front.”

She forced herself to walk with her head high, but kept one arm wrapped around her stomach, finger digging into her side.  She ignored the stares from officers she passed.

_ “Do you want to leave?” _

“Just need air.”

_ “Okay.” _

Maggie turned the corner to the front entrance, taking a deep breath at the sight of Alex watching for her.  Alex pulled her phone from her ear and nodded at her with a small smile.  Maggie hung up and slipped her phone into her pocket.  Alex said nothing as Maggie reached her, just draped her arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to her side before guiding her outside.

They make their way down the alley between the station and neighboring deli, far enough to not be seen from the street.

Maggie turned into Alex, wrapping her arms around Alex’s back and pressing her face into Alex’s neck just before the tears started.

“Hey, hey,” Alex mumbled, holding her close, rocking gently.  She kept mumbling into Maggie’s hair, running fingers through the strands and rubbing her back.

The sobs didn’t last long, and soon Maggie was just staring down the alley, head on Alex’s chest.

“What do you need?” Alex asked.

Maggie shook her head, then pulled back.  She rubbed at her eyes, brushing away tears.  “I have to stay here.  He…they…”  She took a deep breath, pushing some of her hair back.  “I have a brother.  He’s here with him.”  She took another breath.  “I can’t leave him.”

“Okay.  How can I help?”

“Just be here?”

“As much as you need me.”

Maggie nodded, brushing her hair back again.  “Okay, I, um, I need to go talk to my captain.”

“Do you want me there, or to wait for you somewhere?”

“With me, please.”

Alex nodded.  She pushed Maggie’s hair back before using a hair tie on her wrist to pull it into a ponytail.  “Of course.”

Maggie took a few deep breaths, then grabbed Alex’s hand, squeezing harder than usual as they made their way back into the building.

Scallan was waiting for her at the front desk.  He nodded at them, then gestured for them to follow him.  He led them, not to his office, but to the breakroom, stopping just outside the door.

Through the windowed wall, Maggie could see Trip slouched on the couch as a woman worked on some papers at the table.  Maggie recognized her as a CPS caseworker she saw around regularly.

“He has said he will only speak with you, Sawyer,” Scallan said.

“And if his father objects?” Maggie asked.

his father

not hers

“If the kid is being abused, it won’t matter much, will it?”

Maggie sighed, then nodded.  “Okay.”  She took a deep breath, turning to Alex.  “Wait out here for me?”

“Whatever you want,” Alex said.

Maggie gave her a tight smile, squeezed her hand, then pushed the door open.  Scallan stepped in behind her, standing against the wall.

Trip glanced up at her for a moment, before looking back at his phone.  The woman looked up at her and nodded.

“Captain, Detective Sawyer,” she greeted.

Maggie nodded back, then turned her attention to Trip.  She watched him for a moment as he just scrolled through some app.  She reached up to brush some hair back, only to be stopped by the ponytail.  With a sigh, she grabbed a chair from the table and turned it to sit facing him.

“My captain said you’d only speak with me,” she said.

His eyes flicked to her for a second.  He chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at his phone.

“You really my sister?” he asked, tapping something on the screen.

“It looks like it,” she replied.

He looked up again, holding her gaze again.  “Why haven’t we met?”

Maggie’s stomach clenched.

She had only told Alex, and while they had talked about it a few times since the first, she was far from comfortable about it.

But, there was something in his stare, something that tugged at her.

He was scared, scared of what he was going to hear.

She glanced to the window, where Alex was watching.  Alex nodded and smiled lightly.

Maggie closed her eyes as she turned back.  When she opened them, Trip was eying Alex.

“Is she your girlfriend?  The scientist?” he asked as he looked back.

Maggie nodded.  “Yeah, Alex.”

There was a pause.

“He knows you’re gay.”

Maggie swallowed.  “He does, yes.”

That fear in his eyes.

Maggie sucked in a breath.

“Is that why?” he asked, his voice holding just the hint of a tremor.

Maggie nodded.  She stared down at her hands, one cupping the other as she pressed her thumb to her fingertips.

“They kicked me out.”

She listened as Trip shifted.  She could see his legs moving, then she looked up to see him mirroring her position.  His knuckles were white under his grip on his phone.  His jaw and throat kept shifting, clenching.

“Detective?” he forced out.

“Yeah?”

He looked up at her, his eyes wide.

“What will he do to me if he finds out I’m trans?”

Maggie’s breath caught.

Their father wouldn’t just beat…

\- her? them? she needed to ask that, and decided to use they until she did -

Their father wouldn’t just beat them and kick them out, he’d probably kill them.

And they knew it.  Maggie could see it in their eyes, could see the fear and panic growing as the room stayed quiet.

She nodded.

“Is there anything you want me to call you, when it’s safe?” she asked.

Their eyes widened slightly.

“Um, Jamie?  That’s what my friends call me.  But, I, uh, I don’t really have an issue with Trip.  It’s a nickname I got as a kid.”

Maggie nodded again.  “Jamie.  What pronouns do you use, Jamie?”

“She/her.”

Maggie smiled.  “It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.”

Her face lit up for a moment, before falling.  She looked down.

“He could kill me,” she said.

Maggie took a deep breath, then nodded.  “Yeah.”

She glanced over at Scallan.  His face was hard, his arms crossed.

Through the window, she could see Alex watching with a concerned look.  She might not be able to read hear what was going on, but could definitely read their body language.

She looked back to Jamie.

“Jamie, I know this is hard.  Okay?  But, has he ever hurt you?”

“The way he hurt you?”

Maggie sucked in a breath, then nodded.  “He drank a lot.  He’d grab a beer as soon as he walked into the house after a shift.  If it was a bad day…”  She shrugged.  “It made sense to put myself between him and Mom.”

Jamie watched her for a moment.  She swallowed, looked over at Scallan, at the CPS caseworker, then back at Maggie.

“It’s been a while,” she slowly said.  “Not since I got taller than him.”

Maggie nodded.  Once she was big enough to fight back.

“Sawyer.”

They both turned to Scallan.  He raised an eyebrow, then jerked his head towards the door.  Maggie nodded.  She looked back to Jamie.

“We’re going to do what we can, okay?”

Jamie nodded.

“Outside of this room, would you rather we call you Trip?  Use male pronouns?” she asked.

Jamie took a deep breath, then nodded again.  Maggie nodded back before standing.

“I’ll be back when I can.”  She watched Jamie for a moment, then nodded once more and followed Scallan out of the room.  “We have to help,” she said as soon as the door was closed.

“We will do what we can,” Scallan replied.  “But you know how difficult this could be.”

“I don’t care.”

“Sawyer.”

Maggie shook her head as she took a deep breath.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Alex slowly moving closer.

“Sawyer,” Scallan repeated.  “It’s not even cross-jurisdiction, it’s across state lines, and your father is a sheriff.  That’s not an easy battle.”

“I know.”

He watched her for a moment, then nodded.  “Alright.  I have to go speak to your father.  I imagine you’ll be sticking around so I’ll be able to get your statement after?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.”

He watched her for a moment, then nodded and walked off.

Maggie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  There were a few moments of quiet, then a soft “Maggie?”  She turned to look at Alex, who was standing just outside of her personal space.  Maggie took another deep breath, then nodded.

“Turns out my dad hasn’t changed much.”

She moved to the window, watching as Jamie moved to the table, slouching in the chair Maggie had been sitting in.  The case worker started to talk, looking through her papers.

“You want to get him out,” Alex said.

Maggie pushed down the need to correct her.  Jamie's safety and wish to stay in the closet came first.  She was sure Alex would know one day, but it was up to Jamie when that day was.

“I have to.”

* * *

Maggie paced back and forth in front of the apartment door.

She hadn’t done that in months, perhaps not even since the early days, since she begged Alex for their friendship.

Yet again, their relationship could change drastically once she actually worked up the nerve to go in.

No - she stopped pacing and stared at the door - not could.  Their relationship  _ was  _ going to change drastically, no matter how the conversation went.

She closed her eyes, sighed, and entered the apartment.

The first thing she noticed was the smell of the pizza in the oven.  Then that Alex was nowhere in sight.

Maggie glanced around the apartment as she put her helmet on the table next to the door and her keys in the bowl, looking for Alex.  Her helmet was in it’s place, both bike and car keys in the bowl.

She lifted one foot up to unfasten her boot and take it off.  Alex appeared as the boot hit the floor, popping up behind the island, which had been blocking her as she crouched in front of the oven.  She put the pizza on the wooden cutting board they kept out at all times.

“You use the dough we made last week?” Maggie asked, pausing slightly in unfastening the other boot to regain her balance before kicking it off.

“Mhm,” Alex hummed.  “With your aunt’s tomato sauce, saut é ed veggies, and that vegan Parmesan you covet.”

Maggie made her way across the apartment.  “Fancy.”  She pressed against Alex’s back, sliding her arms around her waist and looking at the pizza over her shoulder.  “It looks amazing.”

Alex leaned her head against Maggie’s as she started to cut the pizza.  “How was the meeting with your lawyer?”

Maggie closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.  She pulled back slightly, pressed a kiss to the back of Alex’s shoulder, then stepped away, moving towards the dish cabinet.

“It was…interesting.”  She pulled out two plates and turned back.  She handed one to Alex, who was watching her with an open expression.  “There’s something we need to discus.”

Alex put her plate on the counter.  “Okay.”

Maggie took a deep breath, turning her plate over in her hands.  “She thinks it might be best if I move to Nebraska, at least until the custody decision is made, maybe even longer.”

She watched Alex’s face, waited for her to realize what that would mean.  It could take years.  Years of her being so far away, fighting for custody of a teenager.  Alex’s expression didn’t change.  Maggie’s grip on the plate tightened.

Alex wasn’t going to want to do long distance.  Of course she wouldn’t.  Why should she expect Alex to stay with her when half the country was between them?

“I have to do it, Alex,” she pushed forwards.  “I can’t leave Trip.  You get that, right?  And I know you aren’t about to leave National City for Nebraska, there’s too much here.  Kara, the DEO…”  She searched for something else tying Alex to the city.  “…Kara.”

Alex stepped forwards, brushing some of Maggie’s hair back before cupping the side of her face.

“I get it,” Alex said, giving a small smile.  “I mean, I  _ get it _ .  You’ll do anything for Trip, just like I would for Kara.  I wouldn’t expect anything less.  We’ll figure it out, and when you get custody, he’ll be, I don’t know, ring bearer at our wedding.”

Maggie stared at her.  Alex still wanted to be with her, still wanted to  _ marry  _ her.  Alex was already imagining Jamie in their wedding, even if she didn’t yet know that Jamie was Jamie.

“You’re okay with being long distance?  I mean, this could be years, Alex.”

“Kara isn’t the only person I’d do anything for,” Alex said.  “I love you, Maggie.  This is something you have to do, so I will support you, however you need.  We can text and Skype and my sister can  _ fly _ .  I could be in Nebraska in five minutes.”  Alex laughed lightly.  “It won’t be easy, but we can do it.”

Maggie shook her head as she let out a light laugh.  “How did I get so lucky?”

Alex pressed a soft kiss to Maggie’s forehead, then her lips.  “You want the long or short version?  Because I have both memorized.  I could even act them out for you.”

“Nerd.”

“You love it.”

Maggie nodded, then leaned up to kiss her.

“Now, I guess we eat that pizza before it gets cold, and put off figuring out the details until tomorrow.”

Alex hummed.  “Netflix just uploaded a bunch of new stuff.  We could see if the LGBT section has anything new, then give up when it’s all the same and just watch the first thing that catches our eyes on the homepage.  Probably something that we’ve probably seen a thousand times already.”

Maggie laughed.  “Sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> I may add more to this universe, although I'm not sure. I have so much other things I'm working on right now.
> 
> Shoutout to kirst003 on tumblr for reading through it and putting up with my questions about characterization.
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns are always welcome. Especially comments.


End file.
